Running Circles

Hey all. So, I haven't written in a few days, so I thought I'd write a quick update. I'm just busy busy busy! I've been babysitting, working, being a mom, being a wife, and trying to keep up with the business I started. It's all keeping me running circles, to say the least! Other than that, tho, things are pretty much the same old thing. Just trying to stay sane, and to have some fun once in a while. Weekends are usually the time we let loose around here. (usually "letting loose" means going to Lagoon with the kids during the days and chilling with friends during the evenings.) It's been fun. Just last weekend we took the kids to the beach and we've all got the sun burns to prove it. The weekend before that we went to Lagoon with the kids, and some good friends, Sammi, Ryan, and Mason. We all had a blast, and were there for over 7 hours! It was a long, sunny, HOT day, but a lot of fun. I got to take Sammi on her first roller coaster ride! (which I almost peed myself on because we were laughing so hard!) I took her on one of the most "tame" roller coasters first, then skipped right to one of the scariest ones next. Other than screaming our heads off and laughing until it hurt.... we survived. I think she likes roller coasters now. I also took her on one of the "free-fall" type rides which we both loved. It was scary as hell, but so much fun. (Thank God for the bathroom that was close by. hahah.) I hope that we all get to go together again soon. It was a lot of fun.

Well, tomorrow is Wednesday, which means that I don't have to get up early because I don't have to babysit early!!! I am excited about that, and am looking forward to sleeping in until at least 8:00! I am watching Mason tomorrow afternoon, but he's easy, so that doesn't really count.

I'll try to updat again soon.

I really miss...

Thunderstorms!!! I moved from the "Rain forest" (Illinois) to the desert. It is SO dang dry here. It's crazy how different Utah is from Illinois. In Illinois everything is so green and lush. The trees are full of huge, supple leaves, there are beautiful flowers everywhere, and the grass is so alive and fluffy you could curl up on it and take a nap! Here in Utah I don't think there is even such a word as green. Here, if I don't constantly run my sprinklers my grass will look like straw and my flowers wither up and die in just one day! It NEVER rains here. In Illinois you get more rainy days than you get sunny days. I was actually sick of rain before we came to Utah. Now I miss it. I definitely don't miss the humidity in Illinois tho. Now that was awful! As soon as you walk outside and don't have the air conditioner to protect you anymore, instant sweat! Sweat dripping down your forehead and rolling down your back. It makes you feel like you need 3 showers a day! No, definitely don't miss that. I'll take dried up Utah over that any day! Plus, at least here we've got the mountains to look at. All Illinois has is corn fields.

The weather man says we're supposed to get some rain today. It sure looks gloomy enough outside for rain, but I'm not counting on it. It makes me miss those big Illinois thunderstorms. The ones where your walls shake from the loud claps of thunder, and you think you need a boat to keep from being washed away. If we ever had a storm like that around here people would probably think the world was coming to an end. Bunch of babies.

Anyway... I've got things to clean, kids to feed, and laundry to fold. Plus, I better go outside and water my flowers before they die.

I know, I know

I really should be doing laundry, washing dishes, mopping the kitchen floor, or going grocery shopping, but instead I'm here--glued to the computer screen. I could NOT sleep last night. My mind just wouldn't quit thinking about things even though I tried and tried to just relax! It really wan't anything too specific I couldn't get off my mind--mostly my new business and a few other things. Finally around 6 am I just got up, made coffee, and snuggled up on the couch to read my book. Kind of a nice morning actually. Nice and quiet and I read half my book already. I couldn't put it down. I also got to actually drink a whole cup of coffee before it got too cold! Now that never happens. Maybe I should get up early every morning.

Well, I've made my grocery list already so I guess I better actually go shopping. Since I haven't been cooking dinner lately nick wasn't too happy because there wasn't anything to eat in the house. (I've given up on dinner. It seems like whenever I cook-no one wants to eat so I end up eating alone anyway.) I guess I'm on a kind of "Dinner strike" for now. I use to really like dinner time. It was the only time of day that all of us could sit down together and enjoy it. Lately it's just not like that, so I gave up. No sense in getting upset about it every night. Sad for me, but maybe one of these days someone besides me will miss it.

OK, I'm off to wal-mart. UGH!

Mixed Feelings

Recently I had a falling out with one of my close friends. The whole thing was just so stupid that it frustrates me to no end. In my opinion- I think it was a big lack of communication and a total lack of respect for each other's feelings. We both got our feelings hurt and are too stubborn to work it out. I feel like I tried to express how I was feeling, and instead of talking things out I got blamed for things that were totally unfair and then got totally shut out. I don't know why it hit me so hard, or why I took it so personally. I mean, just a few months before all this happened between her and I, I watched her completely shut out another one of our good friends. I don't know if that is just her way of avoiding or running away from her problems, but it seems wrong to me. Then again, when I'm upset about something I usually react the total opposite of her and face my problems a little too boldly. Not good either. Especially when it can seem like I've got my boxing gloves on and I'm ready to fight. (ask Nick, I know he knows what I can be like) Honestly tho, I hate fighting. I hate confrontation. I hate drama. I hate losing friends over stupid shit. I guess I just feel torn. The good in me keeps saying "just freaking call her already. work it out. it's not worth losing a friendship over." Then, right when I start listening to that side of me the bitch in me thinks "forget her! friends don't treat each other this way. it's not worth the tears." (Imagine me with a little white angel on my right shoulder and the red devil on my left.) That's how it feels! I'm torn between two ways of thinking. I am, by no means, claiming innocents here. I know that some of the things I did or said were mean and wrong, and that sometimes I react to things before I have thought things through. I'm not perfect and I know it. I guess that I'm just upset because of the reaction I got out of her when I finally said "I'm upset!" It definitely wasn't the reaction I was expecting. I don't know. Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I expected too much out of our friendship. Maybe our friendship meant more to me than it did her. Maybe I should just have kept my mouth shut. Maybe I should just swallow my pride and work things out with her. Maybe I should just walk away, forget the whole thing. I have way to many "maybes" on my mind. It's driving me crazy-when it shouldn't be. I don't know how to feel about it all. I've got mixed feelings.

We have texted a few times since all this has happened. Mostly we're both just still being stubborn, but at least it's some sort of communication, right? I guess that although it's not the happiest situation, and things don't always work themselves out on their own, I'm still fine. A little sad. Definitely frustrated. But fine. I don't want to act so stubborn, but I'm not able to simply let it all go, either. Maybe it's worth it, or maybe it's not. I guess time- and actions- will tell.

Music and Dancing

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

These quotes made me smile. I thought they went together perfectly, and pretty much describe my thoughts exactly.

Time for another "Dance Party"! Who's coming?

Summer Days

Wow! Where did the last month go? Time sure has been flying by lately. I still can't believe it's already July!

I have been keeping myself pretty busy. Maybe that's why time is going by so quickly. This summer has been a fun one so far. We got season passes to Lagoon, which is definitely not as big or fun as Six Flags, but the kids love it. It's so fun to watch them on the rides. Elliot has been a trooper, and has been going on some of the more 'scary' rides with us. We all smooshed together on the tilt-a-whirl and I thought Elliot was going to have a fit when we started spinning around really fast. He looked terrified! When we got off I asked him if he liked it and all he said was "Dat Fun" with a big smile on his face. Emma is a little less brave. The first day we went on a haunted house ride. You sit in the car and it takes you through a dark place where there are noises and things jump out at you. Bad idea! Emma was NOT happy with me and made it very clear that she was NEVER going on that again! Hahaha. Wuss. Ethan is finally tall enough to ride on all the big roller coasters. He's having a blast, and definitely screams less than I do.

Ok, well I am off to wake kids up. Emma and Elliot had a long day and crashed on the couch. If I don't wake them up soon it's going to be a LOOOONG night.