Update!

I really suck at this blogging stuff. Its been about 6 months since I have written anything. I'll try to give a quick update:

Still not fully divorced. It's been 2 years and Nick and I are still dragging our feet with the whole thing. I'm sure he has his reason, and I have mine. I am finally realizing that I need to stop worrying about how it's going to affect HIM, and how hard it's going to be on HIM, and just start worrying about ME! The past two years I have been paying our mortgage, and all my other bills, all on my own! No child support what-so-ever. All of that was not so bad up until he got a DUI and lost his car and license because now I have the kids full-time.... and he STILL won't agree to paying child support. Needless to say I am stressed out! And Exhausted. And Broke! Time to put on my big girl panties and get my life in order! ASAP!

Kids are doing pretty well. Ethan is 12 and in 6th grade. If I force him to keep up on his homework he had been getting pretty good grades. He is super smart, just lazy sometimes. He still loves computers and video games, and is the one I ask for help when I can't figure out something on my laptop. Haha. Emma is 7 and in 1st grade. She doing awesome. She is one of the top readers in her class and her teachers absolutely love her. She is my little Spunky girl and we have lots of fun doing girlie things together. Elliot is 5 and goes to a preschool/daycare every day while I'm at work. He loves to skateboard, jump on the trampoline, plays swords, dance, and loves to sing along to music. That little guy never stops moving. It's always go go go with him! School will be out in about a month and I am so NOT ready for that. I am definitely ready for the summer to get here tho.

As for me... I am just trying to hang in there. I still work at Kohls- been over 2 years now. I like it, but I have really been wanting to go back to school for nursing. I am determined to figure out a way to work full time, be a full time single mom, AND go to school! Seems impossible... but hopefully I'll find a way.

Well, there ya have it. I'll try to keep up on this blog better, but no promises.

30!?! UGH!

So, in a couple of days I will be turning 30 years old! All I can say about that is UGH! Its not necessarily the number that disturbs me... more like the whole "I'm 30 and I'm STILL not a nurse yet" thing that bugs me. I never saw myself as a single mom working in retail. Bleh! BUT... I am trying to be positive and look at the bright side of things. It could be a lot worse! I have a stable job, three amazing kids, and the greatest boyfriend in the whole world! I guess being 30 won't be so bad after all. At least I don't have gray hair and wrinkles yet... haha.

Hearts of Steele

I had such a fun night! My birthday is next week and since Jacob and I don't have our kids this weekend we thought we could celebrate a little early. He took me to a concert in Ogden at the Egyptian Theater. One of the guys he works with has a sister who is a singer in a new country group called Hearts of Steele. We were sitting there listening to a sweet love song called With You and watching a couple doing a really romantic couples dance when I hear the Singer say "Tonight we would like to dedicate this song to Jake Farr and Amie Milner! Where are you two lovebirds?" Then Jacob starts clapping and shouting "Yeah! We're right here! Whoo hoo!" Then the lights went on, and everyone was looking at us and clapping... and my face went bright red! Hahaha. It totally caught me off guard. But how cool, and sweet is that?!? I could not stop smiling after that. Jacob is so freaking awesome. After the concert we went to Brewski's for drinks and laughs with a group of family and friends. It was a blast!

I wonder what he has planned for today. He wont tell me what we are doing, just said to wear jeans and maybe bring a jacket... I'm excited! Jacob and I can have fun doing absolutely anything together, so its going to be a good day, I just know it! :)

Rainy day, Bad mood.

I usually love rainy days. Today its just annoying. I wish it would just stop already! Summer is gone and fall, my favorite season, has started but I feel downright gloomy! Too much drama lately! Mean people suck! Especially when the things they say and do affect someone I love. I don't understand why people act the way they do sometimes, but is it really that hard just to be a genuinely nice person?? I think not! Ugh, no point stressing over it tho. Some people will never change. I'm just going to try and focus on the ones who matter and say TO HELL with the rest!

Jakelicious :)

I met Jacob on a dating website. As embarrassing as that may be I don't regret it for a second! He is amazing. The nicest, sweetest, most honest, loving Guy I know! He makes me laugh and can make my heart skip a beat with a simple kiss. We have a ton in common and are really enjoying spending time together. He has 3 boys about the same ages as my kids. The weekends we have all 6 kids together can get pretty crazy! We're like the Brady Bunch! HA! Ill try to post some pictures soon.

New Beginnings

Life has been a whirlwind for the last year! Nick and i are not together anymore. Its been over a year since we separated and I'm happy to say that I am feeling great! Parting was hard, and the last year was filled with lots of tears and drinking. I was a complete zombie. Miserable and pathetic. But... not anymore. Time has passed, my broken heart is healed, and I feel better than ever. Sure I still have occasional bad days, but thats normal. For everybody. Right?

I have a wonderful Guy in my life who I simply can't get enough of (Jacob-more about him soon), a stable job (two years at Kohl's now), and three kids I love more than ever. Life is good. :)

Twilight Zone

Some days when I pause and take a look at my life and all of the major changes that have taken place over the past few months I feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something. Like I'm seeing someone else's life. Long story short~ Nick and I have parted ways. After 10 1/2 years of marriage we are staring into the face of divorce. I really don't want to go into full detail about the why's or how's because it's still too painful to talk about. Honestly, I think mostly it's just that we both are different people than we use to be. Things are coming to an end and I'm sad.

This makes me laugh!

This is Emma when she was about 9 months old, or so.

I'm a slacker

It's been too long since I last wrote! I'm totally slacking! I've been pretty busy lately. I finally got a job. Yep, I am a working woman now. I am the new Visual Supervisor for a brand new Kohl's store that is opening up right here in Clinton. (Or at least I will be once we get into the new building.) I am pretty excited about it. It sounds like a very busy job, which is great! I would much rather be busy than bored. I'm going to be the one running all over the store setting up different visual displays, and climbing ladders. (I'll be dressing mannequins, posting signs, making beds, etc.) So, I'll pretty much be all over the place all the time. I think it sounds like fun. So far the people I will be working with are awesome. All week we have been holding a job fair to hire all of our part-time employees. It's been crazy (there are some really weird people out there looking for jobs) but it's been fun getting to know my co-workers. I think we are all going to get along great.

Going from being a full-time stay at home mom to a full-time working mom is a little sad for me. I found an awesome babysitter for my kids that they love, so that has helped. I know that it's been harder on me than it has been on them. Emma cries when I come pick her up to bring her home at the end of the day because she wants to stay and play longer. Haha. Elliot seems to be perfectly comfortable there too. He didn't even cry when I left him the first day. I thought for sure he'd flip out but he surprised me. He's getting so big. Maybe that's why this is so hard for me. My kids are growing up too darn fast!

OK, well I'm going to go spend time with Nick now that the kids are all in bed. This week has been so crazy I feel like I haven't seen much of him lately.

Ciao!

I want to be Oblivious!

Right now I'm hiding. I put my headphones in my ears and turned up the volume so I can't hear anything but the music. Even though the kids have come to bug me a million times I'm still determined to sit here and listed to my music! Today has been a little stressful. I woke up to Elliot whining because he wanted candy for breakfast (which of course I said no) and because him and Mason were fighting over a video game. Then on top of that Ethan lied to me the night before about having his homework done (which of course it wasn't) so was I extremely frustrated because he just wanted me to give him all the answers instead of taking the time to think about it and he was whining and arguing with me about how it was too hard for him. THEN, Nick started to get on MY case because I was irritated and arguing with the kids too much!!!! Sheesh. Talk about a morning from hell. All I want is to wake up in the morning without having people all up in my face! Sometimes it feels like everyone needs 100 things from me all at the same time. Hello... I'm only one person people! And there is only so much drama and stress I can handle before I blow up. Blow up or cry. Which is what I did this morning. There's nothing like starting out your day with a bunch of people yelling at you and then crying your eyes out all before 8 a.m! I sure hope tomorrow morning is better. Maybe I'll just stick these headphones back in my ears while I'm making my coffee so I can't hear any of the whining and arguing. Good idea! I can be completely oblivious to the chaos around me and enjoy my coffee with some good tunes. Man, why didn't I think of that earlier?

OK, well I've been hiding for a pretty long time. I guess I better go peek at the kids just to make sure nobody is bleeding or anything.